Car Broke Down

Dear Dreamer,

At different points in life, I have sometimes been my sister’s grief guide, helping her to create ceremony to grieve. Recently, after a synchronistic chain of events that led me to have to say goodbye to my ‘98 Corolla and upgrade to an ‘04 Corolla, I remembered a time when I helped my sister say goodbye to a Subaru that had been passed on to her from our grandfather. 
Remembering the depth of her connection with that Subaru made me think of my own connection with my ‘98 Corolla.
That car was largely the vehicle of my 20’s, carrying me through my spontaneous nights and days sleeping with people I hardly knew, immersing myself many feet below the ocean’s surface each day to cool myself off from the fire I felt inside, that might have otherwise burned me irreparably. 

Letting go of my ‘98 Corolla also marks the end of an era in my story.

Dream work has helped me see that in every figure, there can be both light and shadow, or what I will call the wound and the medicine. At 29, I can look back on the rest of my 20’s and see that the wound in that Wild Child was a lot of things–the wound of people pleasing, of sexual trauma, of codependency, and on and on. I could look at it elementally, and say that perhaps my system had some imbalance of fire, an inability to express my Will in healthy ways leading to more damaging expressions of the fire element. 

But at 28, a diagnosis of HPV and Cervical Dysplasia brought me to a screeching halt. The Wounded Wild Child was asking for attention. And I discovered that the medicine she was carrying was actually a radical softness. She needed me to create the conditions in my life for her softness to be safe to feel and express. It took an immense amount of courage to face the softest parts of me and change my relationship with them. That new relationship with my softness not only healed my HPV and Cervical Dysplasia so that I could avoid a surgery, but it also changed my whole life for the better. 
As the vehicle that carried me through that time has now driven off to carry someone else’s story, I’ve been asking how or where that softness wants to move through my life now. How do I continue in this newfound relationship with the Soft Medicine of Wild Child? 

I’m planning a new offering that will start at the end of September, and calling it “The Scorpion’s Nest.” It will be in service to the reclamation of all the wild magic that lives in our dark, wet, crevices, and in service to the courage it takes to be soft in this world. I’m looking forward to sharing much more with you about how my healing has led me to The Scorpion’s Nest, and even more excited to see how this container will help you embody the softness, or the courage, or the wildness that your dreams are calling forward in you now. 

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