Asking for Help as Soft Courage
Dear Dreamer,
One of the first things my cervix taught me was to soften into courage.
When your pap smear comes back HPV positive with a CIN III diagnosis, the closeness of your own mortality can shock you into a very different state of presence with life.
I quickly realized that how resilient I would be in life depended upon my capacity to soften.
I had to ask for help. And then I had to receive it.
Not to be dramatic, but it took a semi life-or-death scenario for me to fully embrace something big I had been resisting: asking for help.
Before my cervical dysplasia, I was mostly operating under the belief that I should be able to handle things on my own. And probably underneath that belief was another belief that I wasn’t worthy of receiving help. I clearly remember one day when my therapist had to point out to me that I am someone who enjoys helping others–it feels good to be helpful, especially for those you care about–so instead of feeling like a burden I might consider the possibility that asking for care could be like offering someone a gift.
When the stakes became high enough, as in I needed to holistically heal my cervix to avoid surgery, I was able to find the courage to become really really soft.
I asked for friends to tell me it was going to be okay.
I asked for patience and grace if I was showing up distracted at work.
I asked for friends to give me little tokens I could keep in my pockets or wear to feel hopeful.
I half-cried half-laughed as I asked one friend to give me compliments.
I allowed myself to receive free flower tinctures from another friend.
I allowed myself to receive an at-home yoni steam setup from my sister.
Side-note: once I started asking for help, it was kind of cool to see how much I already knew what I needed.
And magically, the bounds of what kind of help I could allow myself to receive expanded.
Previously, certain kinds of help felt much more acceptable to receive than others:
Therapy was maybe the only kind of help I allowed myself to receive, and it felt much more okay to see a therapist than to receive financial support to attend a retreat with a transformative coach, for example.
But suddenly, in this newfound relationship with the unseen portal inside of my body (aka my cervix), I was willing to receive all the help I could get: I saw an energy doctor multiple times (one time she felt the presence of one of my dream figures wanting to help me too), bought a bunch of supplements and foods like salmon roe, started seeing a somatic therapist, tried some breathwork, and received more reiki and acupuncture than ever before in my life.
And now that my pap smears have cleared, my daily life doesn’t feel so close to the mortality that brought me into such courageous softness. But I’ve also realized that I don’t want things to have to get to such a critical point before I allow myself to receive as much help as my body could be wanting all the time.
So The Scorpion’s Nest is pulling me into this inquiry (is it pulling you too?):
What kind of courage is my softness asking of me now?
And how might my dream figures support me along this journey?
One thing The Scorpion’s Nest is already doing for me is pulling me into the soft courage of sharing these stories at all, and I’m so grateful for the cracking open of this lid.
I don’t know what kind of transformation life is bringing you now, dreamer. Whatever it is, are you ready to receive the help you desire?
Not just the socially acceptable kind of help, but the kind you actually know you need when you listen in?
Could you imagine that your dreams are trying to help you far more than you know?
If you’re ready, step into the nest by the end of Friday 9/13 to get all the incredible depth of this program for the lowest price possible.
We will journey into the medicine of our dreams together. We will go softly and courageously. And we will transform.
Allowing yourself to receive the help might even be half the medicine.
Love,
P.S. If you’re looking for resources to support your own cervical healing, the two best ones I can share from my journey are Denell Randall’s library and Dr. Chris Lipat’s services.
P.P.S. I could really use your help in spreading the word about my work–if there’s anyone coming to mind right now who would appreciate all the things I’m creating, please share this email list, my podcast, or The Scorpion’s Nest page with them!
